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BLUE CHRISTMAS
the name of a relatively new Advent service for mourners
This has been a dark year, when the arm of the angel of death has grown sore from swinging his heavy scythe, eleven sharp strokes in my circle of friends. And now it’s December, when the rest of the world glitters like sugar, when stores drip tinsel and ribbons, and the air in the mall is thick with carols. For those who mourn, the sky is the color of soot, and white lights hung on pines do nothing to dispel the gloom. The year burns down to ashes, calendar pages go up in flakes of char, the reverse of birds. Going to the store for milk and eggs before it snows is a minefield; you are bound to bump into someone you haven’t seen in years who asks about your family— Then there’s the checkout girl with the reindeer hat who brightly tells you to have a happy holiday, and you can’t reply. Sympathy cards are stuffed in the mailbox’s craw. If you can get dressed before night falls down like a jail door clanging, it’s been a good day. In the houses of mourning, the holidays weigh like a heavy sack. In the corner, the empty chair.
Barbara Crooker |
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